So here I go ...

It has to start sometime - my ideal, skinny, weight is about 160 - I level out at 165. My 'I am still comfortable weight' is up to 170; after that I climb into my 'chatise myself weight' up to about 180 - and then all hell breaks loose. I know I have tipped 200 ... shit.

It looks like 'sometime' will have to wait until at least tomorrow. Chef has to do some grocery shopping (fridge is so bare, even a pot head couldn't make a sandwich out of the leavin's in there). He has to start the early shift tomorrow (gets up at 4am), so no shopping tonight. I am pretty sure he will visit his mother after work tomorrow, so I won't see grub until after 6pm I think.

So what's a fat girl to do? We are out of milk, butter, and cheese, so no good stuff to munch.
I have eggs - maybe I'll try my first "egg white" omlette.
LOL
As soon as I typed that, my thought bubble popped "You don't have butter = no toast; you have no cheese = p-l-a-i-n omlette = ugh
Aha! there is sour cream in there!! I mean I can't really start losing weight until I get food, right? :)

According to this weight chart, at 5'9" I am obese - I think I am anyway (I know I can't see past the gunt - lol). I don't own a scale yet. I think I weigh about 205 pounds - at least I did last medical visit a few weeks ago - prior to the 5 boxes of 'fat free' (lol) cookies and a couple of cherry pies

this chart kind of sucks - who could be "healthy" at 5'9" and 125 pounds?

Even in my early 20's - my prime time - my skinny weight was 145.

I want to drag my sister along on this ride - competition with my body type double :)

Faye has seen me balloon big time. I think the last time we sat around each other's kitchen table I was at my largest. It was head to toe blobbby. That was all beer and cheap food. I can't remember being able to afford beer back then, but I was h-u-g-e! It must have been beer.

I don't drink now - as soon as I stopped my weekly 8-pack about 5 years ago, I dropped about 15 pounds easy. Easier to get back :). I stopped eating  candy, ice cream, sugared pops - yay lost another 10.

hmm put back on 30.

The dreaded dentures ... that put me at my skinniest in forever. I loathed eating so much, I would stop as soon as I knew I could manage on what I forced down (mostly soup) and I stopped cleaning my plate. I went down below 160 and started making my husband nervous. Everyone was at me with "you don't eat enough". I was so proud :). I could use the loo without unzipping my jeans! The suckers just slid off. I was wearing size 10.

LMAO. 

I started eating candy at work.

One day I realized that my favourite pair of skinny jeans were now contouring odd shaped ripples. Poop. On to my comfortable jeans. And on and on and on until I had to go and buy a pair that fit. size 16

shit

My set-scene image is of pounding my head against a wall mumbling 'stupid-stupid-stupid'.

shit

Here I am menopausal and I took advantage of my state and gobbled through my last good weight ...

this time I didn't gain weight in the face (or maybe I do and have more neck wrinkles than I think - time will tell) - my arse is flat and huge and my thighs an odd shape indeed ... well most to the weight now sits in the GUNT

shit

I absolutely refuse to buy a size larger (even if it takes 2 of us to zip up my industrial strength jeans). So, I don't go out much. It is kind of embarassing when the bus driver lowers the hydraulic steps just so I can side-mount a leg. I don't know what to toss yet - my rooms are full of sizes 10, 12, 14, 16 ... so far I have been realistic and tossed the size 10 fantasy clothes. I have one ridiculous pair of size 18 stretchy cords that I bought at Frenchies (aka VV Boutique for you Faye) for 2 bucks. I have to walk the dog  and the size 16's don't allow for anything past a sausage-casing-shuffle. I wore these when painting the house so I don't relent and wear them where I could be seen - lol - they have paint all over them, and that I couldn't 'do' in public. I still have some pride.

sheesh.

I want to be a 12/14 - stable weight at 165-170, and I think I will go for healthy this time as well.

so here I go .................. again.

THIS TIME blah blah blah blah blah ... have to get there first.

is there no spell checker in here?